


you're brighter than the brightest stars

by kerrykins



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, fiction&femslashevent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 03:40:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20594087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerrykins/pseuds/kerrykins
Summary: Vice Admiral Holdo and General Organa are more than co-leaders of the rebellion.





	you're brighter than the brightest stars

**Author's Note:**

> title from "california" by lana del rey because i've been listening to her album nonstop asdfghjkl

“I don’t understand the Force. Not like you do, at least.”

Leia looked up from the maps she was studying. “I don’t understand it either.” She knew she could have easily followed in the footsteps of her brother and father, become a Jedi Knight and dedicate herself to protecting all the light in the galaxy. She had that same affinity for the Force that made Luke a hero and Anakin a monster. Yet, Leia fit so perfectly into the Senate and later rebel fleet that she hadn’t ever been unwavering in the belief that yes— this was where she belonged. “The Force isn’t meant to be understood.”

Vice Admiral Holdo too, had turned her attention away from their precious maps to meet Leia’s eyes. “I see. My apologies for asking, General.”

“Don’t be, it’s a valid question. And since when did you start calling me ‘General?” Leia couldn’t help but make a face. “Should I start referring to you as ‘Vice Admiral Holdo?’” She raised an eyebrow at Amilyn’s amused expression.

“Of course not,” Amilyn said, her mouth folding into a crooked smile. “It wouldn’t feel right.” She didn’t need to say more for Leia to know what Amilyn meant. They’d known each other for so long, back when Amilyn was only a low-ranking member of the Senate, when Leia was Princess of Alderaan. They’d both shed such titles ages ago but still remained inseparable. Over the decades, they’d bounced from political allies to friends to lovers to lukewarm acquaintances to leaders of the rebellion. To say call it a journey would be a gross understatement— Leia often felt that the ebb and flow of their relationship was one that was older than them, as powerful and perennial as the stars themselves.

Amilyn tapped the screen, closing out of the maps and shutting it down. “I believe we’ve charted the best course possible, considering our circumstances. Now we just have to wait.”

Crait wasn’t the best option but their only one. With the dreadnought hot on their heels, they either fled or perished. A part of Leia worried that once they reached the old rebel base, they wouldn’t be able to contact any allies in time to help fend off First Order forces. She tried her best not to dwell on it; sheer hope was the reason Leia had made it this far and she had to hold onto it.

“What’s on your mind?” Amilyn’s voice carried itself from the other side of the ship, soft and concerned. Her back was turned to Leia as she sifted through one of the ship’s databases.

“Just the usual,” Leia replied.

“You can tell me anything, you know. I can tell when something’s bothering you.”

Leia doubted speaking her fear into existence would make matters better but indulged her friend anyways. “How?”

“Well,” Amilyn began. “You get very quiet and fold your hands behind your back, before staring out into space. It’s what you’ve done as long as I’ve known you.” The woman turned her head a fraction and Leia saw that she was smiling.

“I don’t know if we’re doing the right thing,” Leia admitted, though with some reluctance. “We’ve already lost so many and we’re bound to lose even more.” She was no stranger to death but lately it had been taking a tremendous toll on her— exhausted day in and day out, at a loss as to how to cope with the pain, lacking the strength to pull herself together in the mornings. She’d lost a son, a husband, half a rebellion. What she wanted to say was:  _ I don’t think I can do this anymore. I don’t know how to stop the First Order. _

Amilyn edged towards Leia, her steps small and cautious. “You’ve led us to victory so many times, I’m sure you know what’s best.”

“I don’t,” Leia said helplessly. “I don’t know how things will unfold, how many people have to die at the hands of the First Order, if this will even work.”

Silence. Then, “I remember you telling me something about hope. If you only believe in it when you can see it, you'll never make it through the night." Amilyn looked Leia up and down, her expression thoughtful. “I probably misquoted a couple words but that was the gist of it.” The taller woman lowered herself to Leia’s height so their eyes were level.

“When did you get so wise?” Leia asked, an inexplicable sense of pride warming her chest.

Amilyn gave her a bright smile, her eyes gleaming with a playfulness Leia knew all too well. “I learned from the very best, of course.” Her hand interwined with Leia’s, sending a pleasant shock through her body. They were alone in the hull of the ship, a fact that Leia hadn’t been entirely aware of until this very moment. Before Amilyn could do or say something else, Poe Dameron came striding into the room, red-faced and yelling.

The two women jumped apart. Leia tried not to be too disappoined, focusing her energy on pulling herself back together. Amilyn had already slipped into the Vice Admiral mask, though Leia could see she was still flustered, playing with the bracelet on her wrist.

As Poe rambled about some new report, Leia noticed the other woman watching her, and their eyes briefly met. Something in Amilyn’s face said that she was equally frustrated with the interruption.  _ Later,  _ she mouthed.

Leia was half-tempted to dismiss Poe already.


End file.
